Creating Introductions

Introductions would be the most difficult part of writing essays if it weren’t for the fact that conclusions are so much harder.  In the spirit of going from very difficult to agonisingly difficult, we’ll talk about how to create strong introductions first.

To draw readers in

To make readers comfortable

To make it plain to readers what you’re going to talk about

It’s the final two of these that are truly difficult, and it’s because of them that first sentences are so important, and so hard.  A first sentence is your best chance to grab your readers’ interest and make them want to keep reading.  Consider the following first line from literature, for example:

If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don’t feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.

This sentence draws you in, first of all, by what it does, and simultaneously doesn’t, tell you.

What is this “it”?  It’s pretty clearly something we’d want to hear about, but we won’t know anything more specific until we read on.  You’ll notice, too, the way this sentence sets tone (the author is in charge, and he’s angry), and establishes voice (first person singular).

This first sentence is very different:

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.

This is just a simple statement of (alleged) fact, but it also draws readers in: why is the author telling us this?  It also makes the themes of what it’s introducing clear from the start – this book will be about men, and it will be about marriage (and it will probably be about the idea of certainty).

You can do exactly the same things with an academic essay introduction. For example:

Naked mole rats, or Heterocephalus glaber, possess a highly unusual set of traits.

Oh, really?  Please tell me more. The readers’ curiosity is up, and you haven’t done anything fancy or complex, just as in example two.

Once you’ve grabbed your reader, you have to make them relax and engage.  In the funnel introduction, you do this with your second, smaller, sentence, which acts as a bridge between the opener and the thesis.  You can, though, use more than one sentence to do this:

Naked mole rats, or Heterocephalus glaber, possess a highly unusual set of traits.  First, as the name implies, they are hairless.  More than that, however, their thin, short legs allow them to move equally quickly forward and backward; their protuberant teeth assist them in digging; and their lips seal behind the teeth to ensure that their mouths stay free of dirt while they work.

As a reader, you will notice that by the time you finish this collection of sentences you have, as it were, settled in.  You have received interesting, specific information, delivered clearly; you can now see the naked mole rat in your mind (except you can’t, and you should be thankful, because those suckers are ugly – there’s a picture of one in the back of this book). You’ve been engaged, and you’ve been relaxed.  That is what the next few sentences of an introduction do: they make you feel at home.

Now, lastly, you have to make it plain to the reader what you’re going to talk about (you can also think of this as telling them why the first few sentences have mattered).  This is your thesis and, funnily, it’s the easiest part.

In short, the naked mole rat is a perfect example of effective evolution.

In a humanities essay, your thesis is likely to be a statement you will go on to argue and defend; in a science essay, your thesis may look or be more informational. Note that in the thesis above, for example, the writer appears to be making a statement of fact, but actually they are making a statement they will have to go on and prove.

Now, look at the whole introduction put together:

Naked mole rats, or Heterocephalus glaber, possess a highly unusual set of traits.  First, as the name implies, they are hairless.  More than that, however, their thin, short legs allow them to move equally quickly forward and backward; their protuberant teeth assist them in digging; and their lips seal behind their teeth to ensure that their mouths stay free of dirt while they work. In short, the naked mole rat is a perfect example of effective evolution.

And you’re in!  If you turn back, you’ll see that this introduction is, in its elements and structure, exactly the same as the funnel introduction, just longer (and this, in fact, is true of most good essays: they are the same, just longer – I’ll explain that later).

Practical Solutions:

Try to keep your introduction to no more than half a page – no more than a page, maximum.  This way, it won’t become confusing by being too long.

If you can’t come up with a good introduction at the start, simply write down your thesis. Then go back and write the introduction later.

If you can create a thesis but not the rest of the introduction, write down the thesis and see how you might get to it.

If you’re having trouble with your introduction, just write a bad one. Use it as a “placeholder introduction,” and go back when you’ve finished the essay and write a new one.

If all else fails, there’s nothing wrong with a good old funnel introduction.

Be Aware of These:

If you can’t come up with a good introduction at the start, simply write down your thesis. Then go back and write the introduction later.

If you can create a thesis but not the rest of the introduction, write down the thesis and see how you might get to it.

If you’re having trouble with your introduction, just write a bad one. Use it as a “placeholder introduction,” and go back when you’ve finished the essay and write a new one.

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