The Writing Brain
University of Exeter

Tone

Tone is perhaps the hardest element of writing to define, and the most delicate to manipulate.  Once you understand it, though, it’s probably the most powerful element you’ll have at your disposal.

Tone is the feeling you create in a piece of writing, and so, in another way, tone is the amount and kind of access you give to a reader.  The easiest example of this is the difference between formal and informal writing; these give different kinds of access to a reader:

Yeah, do whatever you want.

allows the reader to feel the writer is a casual sort of fellow, relaxed and easily accessible.

Yes, you are welcome to do as you please.

suggests a different sort of writer, and a different sort of purpose for the writing:  the reader feels more at a distance, for example.

If this all seems very vague, that’s because pinning down tone is a difficult thing.  Creating tone, however, is quite an enjoyable thing.  Take, for example, the first paragraph of Hemingway’s short story, “Hills Like White Elephants”:

The hills across the valley of the Ebro were long and white. On this side there was no shade and no trees and the station was between two lines of rails in the sun. Close against the side of the station there was the warm shadow of the building and a curtain, made of strings of bamboo beads, hung across the open door into the bar, to keep out flies. The American and the girl with him sat at a table in the shade, outside the building. It was very hot and the express from Barcelona would come in forty minutes. It stopped at this junction for two minutes and went to Madrid.

Very short sentences, almost no modifiers, and very short words: the tone thus manufactured is highly factual, vaguely aloof (because you will get no words to help you), and risks being seen as unnecessarily terse.  BUT precisely because of this any and all modifiers come to be very significant.  Hemingway could have said it was hot; what difference does it make that he says, “very hot”? He could have said the train stopped at this junction “for a couple of minutes,” but he said, “for two minutes” – why might he be so precise?

As it happens, both these things are quite significant in the story that follows (which I highly recommend you read), as is the curt tone.

Now let’s consider another opening:

In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since.

Begins with a dependent clause; contains slightly longer words; a first-person narrator appears to be making a direct address:  the tone thus manufactured is more intimate, more relaxed, and slightly less adult.  Word choice is important here, too, though.  First of all, the speaker’s reference to “my father” produces the sense of youth; second of all, look at that “more.”  The suggestion is that the speaker is still vulnerable (but less so), and thus readers sympathise with him at the start. Notice, too, the way the contraction makes the sentence feel more accessible, more relaxed.  Nicely done, F. Scott Fitzgerald!

Broadly speaking, a more accessible tone comes from a more relaxed writing style:  contractions, smaller words, but also sentences that are neither too short nor too long, that don’t seem to be aiming for minimalism or maximalism.  Additionally, tone is where scrupulous attention to word choice really comes into its own; sometimes changing a single word or expression completely changes the tone:

He sauntered down the street. (yay)

He stalked down the street.     (oh, dear)

That fish made me nauseous. (thanks for sharing!)

That fish disagreed with me.  (don’t be so prissy!)

As its music-linked name implies, tone depends as much on suggestion and emotional links as it does on practicalities.  Because of this, it requires an exasperating mixture of attentiveness and relaxation on the part of the writer.

Practical Solutions:

Think a little bit about what kind of tone you want to produce. You can do this on an essay-by-essay basis, or you can simply decide what you want “your” tone to be, then stick with it.  This kind of decision early on will help you to shape the tone as you go.

Watch your words. Word choice, sentence structure, even rhythm can make a difference to tone. If you’re not happy with the way your writing sounds, try changing individual words.

Smaller words equals more accessibility. Contractions equals relaxation.

Trust your instinct. If the tone doesn’t feel right to you, or if a word or sentence feels wrong, try to change it.  Tone is a feeling, so your feelings may well be the most accurate way to judge it.  Start by reading the rough spot aloud.

Read read read. And read thoughtfully.  If you like, or don’t like, an author’s writing, or a particular sentence, try to figure out precisely what works or doesn’t work.

If you read your work aloud, you’ll have a better idea of how the tone will strike the reader.

Be Aware of These:

It is almost impossible to understand and manipulate tone from a rational basis. It’s actually much easier to try for a certain tone, then figure out why you did or didn’t achieve it.

Tone can’t save a lousy essay, but it can make good ideas sound even better.

If you can manipulate tone, you have a very powerful tool at your disposal. Dictators, poets, and false charmers everywhere have exploited tone to their advantage.

The ability to create different tones gives you options that you otherwise don’t possess, and that gives you power you otherwise don’t possess.

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